


defiance

by bellamysblakes (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, i feel accomplished, look at me writing original stuff for the first time in years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:37:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bellamysblakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was nothing here for her. The flag had been lowered and was now lying limply on the soaked ground, the rain falling in a soft pitterpatterpitterpatter on top of it. There was a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips, and she was crouched down, her back firmly against the brick wall behind her. She couldn’t see anyone, not anymore. They were probably dead. </p><p>Rebellion wasn’t like the movies. It wasn’t honourable or courageous. It was dark, gritty, horrible. It operated in the shadows, so that no-one else could see what they were doing. And it wasn’t worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	defiance

defiance:

open resistance; bold disobedience

 

There was nothing here for her. The flag had been lowered and was now lying limply on the soaked ground, the rain falling in a soft _pitterpatterpitterpatter_ on top of it. There was a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips, and she was crouched down, her back firmly against the brick wall behind her. She couldn’t see anyone, not anymore. They were probably dead.

 

Rebellion wasn’t like the movies. It wasn’t honourable or courageous. It was dark, gritty, horrible. It operated in the shadows, so that no-one else could see what they were doing. And it wasn’t worth it.

 

Her arm was covered in tattoos, memories of times passed. When Kat kissed her to take away from the pain of her first. When they shared a bottle of scotch in a back alley and laughed until they cried. When they danced till dawn on the rooftop of their apartment building. When she still believed that she and Kat could be forever.

 

She hadn’t seen Kat in days; she wouldn’t see Kat again.

 

There was just this hole now, aching and empty, waiting to be filled with emotion. But she could not fill herself with the emotions that she needed, because the only person who could make her feel like that was Kat. She needed Kat.

 

Kat didn’t need her. Kat needed the resistance, just like she needed to breathe. Defiance was in her veins, in her blood and in her bones, and even though she had tried to carve out a place for her in Kat’s heart, she knew that she was never going to be successful.

 

That doesn’t mean she didn’t try.

 

Kat had started this mess, sat for nights on end just staring at her computer and typing away, not even coming up when she begged and begged and begged. She missed due dates for assignments and catch ups with old high school friends. She missed date nights and the episodes of her favourite TV shows. She missed everything, in favour of a dark room, her laptop and some Chinese take-out. And she was going to leave her.

 

When she gave Kat an ultimatum, to choose between her and whatever she was doing all of those days, what she was wasting her time on, Kat just looked at her and laughed. She laughed, and kissed her, whispered sweet nothings in her ear and laughed some more. She took her hand then, dragged her into the dark room, littered with Chinese takeout boxes and bottles of whiskey, and explained. It was early in the morning when she was done, and by this point, Kat was lying in her lap, her hands tangled in Kat’s hair.

 

Kat was rebelling, against everyone and anyone that would listen. She was active on the internet, protesting against child brides in Africa and for stricter gun laws in America. She was breathing, living for the small acts of defiance that she could do every day. She had been sitting inside her dark room, researching away, chatting with people on forums, expressing her opinions and presenting her side of the story. She said she was doing it in a nice way, so that she was making the world a better place for everyone who would come after her. She was being the Good Samaritan, the better person in a world full of corruption.

 

She was wrong about what she was doing. She was just like them.

 

Kat was the one who had started this rebellion, this act of defiance, in the darkest corners of the web, where people would sign up for a cause just to gain credits for a game. Kat used them to do what she needed, to send threats and hate and put fear into the people behind the screens that she needed gone. She was becoming known, becoming scary, and to be honest, as she read some of the things that Kat had done, she was scared too.

 

There was the organised protests, the ones in public, where they marched down main streets towards government buildings and politicians’ offices. Where everyone knew what they were doing, and there was a police presence just to make sure nothing got out of hand and there was safety and unity and the feeling like they were doing a good thing. She went to all of these protests, held Kat’s hand and waved with her along the road, making sure the people surrounding her knew what she was doing this for. This was not defiance.

 

There was hacking, and leaking government files and making sure the general public was aware of the things that they tried to hide. There was hysteria within government offices as they tried desperately to find where the hacker was coming from, and countless hours spent invested in why and who and how and when and where. In Kat’s mind, there was nothing they could do to stop her, because she was invincible. There was secret graffiti scrawled on alley way walls and the sides of night clubs. There was symbols created, printed on fabric and raised on flags, so that people would see it and wonder, wonder what it meant. Wonder what everything meant. This was defiance.

 

This society was no dystopia, but it was no utopia either. This was no movie, no book, no television program. This did not have a happy ending.

 

Kat was shot.

 

Unknown sniper, through the window of our apartment. She was dead. This was what her defiance cost her. There was nothing she could do about it now, because all of her decisions had come back to haunt her. Instead of talking, explaining, fighting to justify the decisions she had made, she was silenced.

 

Now, she sits in the rain, with her cigarette and the broken flag just lying before her, tears streaming down her cheeks. This whole thing was over. Kat was dead, and she was the life of this whole thing. She went about it in the wrong way, but that didn’t mean what she believed in wasn’t the right thing. She may have made the wrong choices in the end, but they were still her choices, and she still would fight for Kat. She would fight for her because she loved her, and maybe that was all that would matter.

 

Her future was suspended in oblivion now, so many paths she could follow and all of them the wrong choice. There wasn’t anything she could do now that would make her life return to the way it was before Kat. Kat was the sole thing that had impacted her life, made her deviate off of her path to university and a good career. Kat was the one thing that made her defy her parent’s wishes. Kat was it.

 

Alex pushed herself up off of the wall and picked up the flag, dropping the cigarette in the process. Kat may be dead, but she wasn’t. This was for both of them. Defiance was in Kat’s bones, but Kat was in Alex’s heart, and so defiance was in her heart too.

 

 

 


End file.
